Every one of us, sometime or the other get annoyed or angry. Some of us throw tantrums like children whilst some raise our voice and show our anger. If we notice, it is all momentary. It take so much of practice to control anger. I do not take an exception to my anger. I must admit, I am not a good candidate to Best Anger Management Practice. ;).
Having said that, I was browsing the Internet and found this short story which conveys so much of meaning. I will make conscious effort not to nail my fence.... ;).
Once upon a time, there was a little boy who was very talented and creative and very bright. Let's say a natural leader. The kind of a person everyone would normally want to have on their team or project. He was also self-centered and had a very bad temper. When he got angry, he usually said, and often did, some very hurtful things. In fact, he seemed to have little regard for people around him including friends. So, his friends list shrunk. He told to himself, "May be this just shows how stupid people are!"
As he grew, his parents were concerned about this personality flaw, and pondered long and hard about what they should do. Finally, the father had an idea. And he struck a deal with his son. He gave him a bag of nails, and a BIG hammer. "Whenever you lose your temper", he told the boy, "I want you to really let it out. Just take a nail and rive it into the oak boards of that old fence out back. Hit that nail as hard as you can!"
Of course, those weathered boards in that old fence were as tough as iron and the hammer was very heavy, so it was not nearly as easy as it initially sounded. Nevertheless, by the end of first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Gradually over a period of weeks, the number dwindled down. He started holding his temper. That proved to be easier than driving nails into the fence. Finally, the day came when the boy did not lose his temper at all and felt very proud. He told his parents about that accomplishment.
"As a sign of your success,"his father responded, "you get to PULL OUT one nail. In fact, you can do that each day that you don't lose your temper even once."
Many weeks passed. Finally one day, the young boy was able to report proudly that all the nails were gone. At that point, the father asked his son to walk out back with him and take one more good look at the fence. "You have done well, my son", he said. But, I want you to notice the holes that are left.
No matter, what happens from now on, this fence will never be the same. Saying or doing hurtful things in anger produces the same kind of result. There will always be a scar. It won't matter how many times you say you're sorry, or how many years pass, the scar will still be there.And a verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. People are much more valuable than an old fence. They make us smile. They help us succeed. Some will even become friends who share our joys, and support us through bad times. And, if they trust us, they will also open their hearts to us. That means we need to treat everyone with love and respect. We need to prevent as many of those scars as we can.
Let us try to build bridges rather than barriers in Relationships!
Signing off,
SPH
